Wednesday, May 11, 2016

At Loss Today - May 11, 2016

There are days when I just don't feel part of anything. Chronic illness is more than life interrupted, it's relationships and responsibilities severed - not out of malice or uncaring attempts, but it just is. God is the constant, but I have to admit that in the experiences of each day, moment to moment, it can be quite isolating to say the least. Those who I held most dear for many years, just slipped out of my daily contact. And, I can reach deeper into my faith, praise God for all that He has done, be grateful for the good days, while I mourn the loss of relationships. As far as responsibilities, they are forcing me to live more simply - wondering how I was ever so busy in the first place. That in those times when my illness didn't hinder, why I didn't focus more on the relationships that were so important. We cannot control others, but we can control our reaction to things in this life. At the moment, and for quite some time, I am mourning so much loss and day to day is a thread. Understanding that I was the one relating... reaching out, communicating and being concerned for others - living for Christ, without regard for how I felt.

This past year has been a time of reducing so much, but taking on so much as well. I have no regrets, but expectations to continue this fight, to submit more completely to our Father in heaven and stand strong in the strength of the Holy Spirit. Is it easy? Not at all, and impossible on my own – but is expected through and in Christ.

Today, I want to pray for others who also suffer... who sense and experience the isolation of illness. I pray for hopeful times in prayer and worship, and to God be the glory in all the suffering.

Shawn Delia Boreta

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I love people. My life has been spent seeking new friendships and helping others. God's gifting is being worked out into His plan for me. I am excited to share insights of His leadings and lessons.