Learning that I have to write, even this... to keep sane.
Our entire lives are spent making decisions – what to eat for breakfast… what route to take to work… do I try yet another treatment for Lyme disease? Some decisions are simple, unimportant, while others are life-altering decisions. It may seem pretty simple from the outside looking in – but I can tell you that this has been a common, yet very difficult question I have asked, answered and asked again a dozen times in the 32 (yes, I did say 32) years since I was bitten by the microscopic, bloodsucking devil in 1982.
In all this time of dealing with this "enemy in my blood" I have not documented very much, or gone into much detail in my writings; and I don't plan to on a regular basis, but will share as I feel led. These were my thoughts during the day yesterday, and as I get going today. After reading about a young woman starting her Lyme Fight, my heart is breaking in so many ways. I have been praying for many of my friends and have new friends to pray for as well. I had planned to go home early yesterday from work so I can "rest more", maybe get a walk in and clean house. Due to the level of exhaustion, and shooting pains running up and down my left rib cage, this week played out very differently than I wanted it to, but in the process of this unplanned for, and unexpected week – I wrote, while seeking our LORD – I connected and watched as His Word exposed my heart to healing and comfort.
In a routine phone call to my friend Shellie today, I completely lost it – I would say I was as close to hysterical as I could be in getting to the edge without going completely over the edge. The past seven weeks have comprised of exhaustion on my exhaustion and explosions in my veins, which replaced the body aches I normally have. My arms and legs have literally been on fire – feeling like volcanic liquid rushing right under the skin, and when that subsides, my skin crawls and amid the buggy-like feelings there are sharp stabbing in my rib cage, leg cramps and stiffness. My feet hurt to walk on, and ache when I sit down... Then there is the IBS and inability to go more than two hours before my bladder is ready to burst... Too much information, I know - But wait, there's more...
Sitting too long is painful, standing too long is painful, lying down is painful – which leaves very little else to try. Most days I can handle the pain… or the exhaustion – BUT when they collide and mingle, it makes for a long day. We can add blurring vision and really dry and burning eyes; jaw, teeth and ear pain, and just feeling like “enough is enough”.
Which has led me to research more - and I have found a treatment...
Today I am afraid. Afraid to choose more heartache, when the LORD has so much joy in store for me. To raise that hope of healing the physical part of me, yet again. To dream of waking up 'pain free and full of energy'. Afraid to bear weak witness in my own weaknesses because I lack faith in the right things. I am afraid of letting go when I should hold on and holding on too tightly too long.
Seeking wisdom, clarity and strength today in Jesus' mighty name.
Amen.
Earlier today, my friend Scott shared Jeremiah 33:3, which spoke loudly to me in a time of need...
A letter written to a local newspaper, after finding out many of my high school classmates have been affected by Lyme.
©2014 Giving Thanks Daily, Shawn Boreta
#lifeincolorandWORDs
#thankfullife
Our entire lives are spent making decisions – what to eat for breakfast… what route to take to work… do I try yet another treatment for Lyme disease? Some decisions are simple, unimportant, while others are life-altering decisions. It may seem pretty simple from the outside looking in – but I can tell you that this has been a common, yet very difficult question I have asked, answered and asked again a dozen times in the 32 (yes, I did say 32) years since I was bitten by the microscopic, bloodsucking devil in 1982.
In all this time of dealing with this "enemy in my blood" I have not documented very much, or gone into much detail in my writings; and I don't plan to on a regular basis, but will share as I feel led. These were my thoughts during the day yesterday, and as I get going today. After reading about a young woman starting her Lyme Fight, my heart is breaking in so many ways. I have been praying for many of my friends and have new friends to pray for as well. I had planned to go home early yesterday from work so I can "rest more", maybe get a walk in and clean house. Due to the level of exhaustion, and shooting pains running up and down my left rib cage, this week played out very differently than I wanted it to, but in the process of this unplanned for, and unexpected week – I wrote, while seeking our LORD – I connected and watched as His Word exposed my heart to healing and comfort.
Rest indeed today... rest indeed! (Proverbs 1:33)
His grace is sufficient for me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)
God’s purpose will be established. (Proverbs 19:20-21
God is faithful and will strengthen me. (2 Thessalonians 3:3)
God is faithful and I am important. (Genesis 17)
How much more will He do for you? (Luke 11:10-13)
God is Good.
In a routine phone call to my friend Shellie today, I completely lost it – I would say I was as close to hysterical as I could be in getting to the edge without going completely over the edge. The past seven weeks have comprised of exhaustion on my exhaustion and explosions in my veins, which replaced the body aches I normally have. My arms and legs have literally been on fire – feeling like volcanic liquid rushing right under the skin, and when that subsides, my skin crawls and amid the buggy-like feelings there are sharp stabbing in my rib cage, leg cramps and stiffness. My feet hurt to walk on, and ache when I sit down... Then there is the IBS and inability to go more than two hours before my bladder is ready to burst... Too much information, I know - But wait, there's more...Sitting too long is painful, standing too long is painful, lying down is painful – which leaves very little else to try. Most days I can handle the pain… or the exhaustion – BUT when they collide and mingle, it makes for a long day. We can add blurring vision and really dry and burning eyes; jaw, teeth and ear pain, and just feeling like “enough is enough”.
Which has led me to research more - and I have found a treatment...
Today I am afraid. Afraid to choose more heartache, when the LORD has so much joy in store for me. To raise that hope of healing the physical part of me, yet again. To dream of waking up 'pain free and full of energy'. Afraid to bear weak witness in my own weaknesses because I lack faith in the right things. I am afraid of letting go when I should hold on and holding on too tightly too long.
Seeking wisdom, clarity and strength today in Jesus' mighty name.
Amen.
Earlier today, my friend Scott shared Jeremiah 33:3, which spoke loudly to me in a time of need...
"Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know." (New American Standard Bible)So now what? If the LORD brings tomorrow, than I will live another day. Seek the LORD and live expectantly to see "what God has for me now". Every day is a new day, and I am grateful for each and every one of them our Father faces me with.
A letter written to a local newspaper, after finding out many of my high school classmates have been affected by Lyme.
One Response to Lyme victims relate experiences
Written 2011, by Shawn Boreta
I was bitten in 1982, as we hiked along the creek located on Murray Creek Road, San Andreas. I have had a myriad of symptoms, diagnosis and undiagnosis over the years. I am now 46 years old, and was formally diagnosed a couple months ago. I was told for years that Lyme didn’t exist in California, especially where I grew up. I am getting treated for some of my symptoms, but have yet to get relief. The fortunate thing is I am high-functioning and have been able to maintain a pretty stable life. However, I have also had years when functioning was an issue. Today, I work a full time job and come home and do very little else. None of my current treatment is covered by insurance and I don’t see additional treatment as the cost is outrageous for the alternative medicine.
It is my constant prayer that this enemy that has plagued my physical life, will just go away… twenty-seven years and counting. I will not see another regular doctor as they tell me there is nothing wrong with me, or “you look fine” or there is nothing we can do except give you pain pills and anti-inflammatory medications, or better yet another “guessed” diagnosis, like Lupus, Epstein Barr, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, MS, and most recently Rheumatoid Arthritis. I don’t want a support group or a counselor, I would, however, like to see change in the approach by health care providers and insurance companies.
©2014 Giving Thanks Daily, Shawn Boreta
#lifeincolorandWORDs
#thankfullife
No comments:
Post a Comment