I wanted to give an update - my writing has been hit or miss for the last month, which is so unlike me, but I assure you, God's got this. I appreciate you all and thank You for being part of my daily routine.
Let me explain - For the last year, I have been fighting exhaustion (not just tired, but severe exhaustion). Last year I had blood work, work ups, probing and evaluations... and nothing came out of all the hoopla. But this battle has been raging inside my cells, through my blood stream and modifying my DNA (according to my doctor) for 29 years.
"even because of the extraordinary degree of the revelations. Therefore, so that I would not exalt myself, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan, in order that it would torment me so that I would not exalt myself. Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it would depart from me. And he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, because the power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore rather I will boast most gladly in my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may reside in me. Therefore I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in calamities, in persecutions and difficulties for the sake of Christ, for whenever I am weak, then I am strong." ~2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (Lexham English Bible)
Today, I had another doctor's appointment, in the recent series of several. On Sunday, I had totally lost hope of seeing true energy again; exhausted, and in much pain; really no more pain than normal, just less energy to deal with it. I have felt like I could sleep all the time - but I continue to push through. Saturday was supposed to be a busy one, but it just was not going to happen - I didn't do much of anything. Sunday became busy and I ended up doing a lot more than I had planned, and at the end of the day, I was wiped. I had absolutely come to the end of myself and my energy.
I poured my heart out to the LORD and bared my soul and just cried for help and guidance. I was feeling that this doctor appointment would yield much of the same; lots of explaining, lots of “uh huhs” and raised eyebrows from doctors who had no idea what to say or how to respond. But I prayed anyway, for someone to “hear me”.
Today, not only was I “heard”, I also received some good news. Two of the blood results from last year’s tests were not relayed to me properly. In fact, my new doctor, said my vitamin B12 levels were severely depleted, as well as my vitamin D; he said most people wouldn’t get out of bed at all with those numbers. The good news is not that the levels are down, but that there is a reason (a fixable reason) for the exhaustion. He asked how I felt about shots, and would I be able to administer my own…. “No problem”, flew out of my mouth… What was I thinking? Really, give myself a shot. But I “sucked it up” and learned, and today, I started a new regiment and hope was realized once again that this body will see “energy” once again.
Father, I am so sorry for doubting. So regretful that I have to hit the floor in utter despair to really ask You to show me a miracle – to prove to me that You “hear me”, that my cries and pleas are important and I am valued and meant to be healed. Thank You that today’s revealing was a minor thing, that had become a major hindrance for me, is really just You showing You to me. And, that I have nothing to fear or to worry about regarding my well being – You have it all under control. Thank You for giving me the pushes necessary to ask for help, to be bold with my doctors and trust Your promptings. I thank You that today was just one more “thing” to credit You with, and to trust You even more with.
Today, I am, again, blown away by Your mercy and plan. Thank You for good news today. Even if nothing changes, I am assured so often that You are with me on this journey. If I am healed, I am grateful; if I am not, I know that Your purposes are greater, and I am content in this knowledge; but as Paul continued to ask for healing, so will I. Thank You LORD for Your amazing ad timely answers to the absolute pouring out of my heart. I am so humbled by Your mercy and love. Amen.
"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." ~1 Thessalonians 5:18 (English Standard Version)
© 2012 Giving Thanks Daily, Shawn Boreta
We are Wonderfully Made (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Wonderfully-Made/130178720330362), living to encourage and Equip His People (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Equip-His-People-Ephesians-411-13/170487976325407) and completely committed to believing greatly Psalm 139 with purpose (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Psalm-139-with-purpose/183264461708034).