Day 510 of Giving Thanks

In August God forced a major change in my life – which has been a major shift in lifestyle; and since then He has been instructing me to completely “let go” – to purge the emotion of that change. Wow, I guess I have been avoiding it for the most part. It seems that every week or so, I toss something out or pack something up – but I am not really addressing the complete purge or the issue of the loss. So today, I did it. We have this room in our house that we call the dungeon – this room has been my daughter’s room briefly, my art studio and a couple of years ago we had a young woman living with us who was helping us out with things around the house. However, for the last year, it has been the “catch room” – it catches everything we don’t want to deal with, or rather, I don’t want to deal with.

So, where am I going with all this? This room was where I stuffed all my emotions – the major change in my life was walking away from a business I worked for over eight years – I didn’t just love the business, I loved what I did – however, I loved it more than I should have. And, even though I told God that I would make the change, somehow in the back of my mind, I thought I would somehow “begin again”, so have been hanging on to “all the stuff”; all of my history.

God’s idea of “begin again” was much different then what has been in the back of my mind. And, I can tell you that He is much smarter than I am, that is for sure. Even though it was August that the change began, it was way before than that He began to encourage me to make the change. I am so grateful, that even though I ignored Him, disobeyed Him and I constantly justified my actions with things like, “God found me here”, “this is the only way we will ever get ahead”, “God wouldn’t take something away that I love so much”… that was the one that truly got me.

I am grateful that God set me straight, that I now have my priorities in order – Him, my marriage, my job and my ministry. This change allowed me to “begin again”.

As I tossed and purged today, it became very symbolic for me. With every hour that passed, I knew that I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing. And, I cleared I prepared – isn’t that what God wants for us? To let go, so He can give us what He has for us.

The room, which is once again my art studio, is not quite completed, but I did get through most of the purging, and have an idea of how my new space will be arranged, organized and be completely useful for a designated purpose – no more “catching” for that room.

As this new beginning continues, I see that room as my room, not only to create the art that God gifted me with but as a room in our house that is just mine and where I can meet God while I create. I am grateful for this amazing day of “letting go”. I am grateful that He is creating in me a desire to “begin again”, as you so graciously instruct me to do.