Sunday, August 21, 2011

Day 643 of Giving Thanks by Tina Wetor

As I started to reflect on what I am thankful today, love is true.  God is love.  As a child of God, I am thankful to be loved unconditionally.  Without God’s love, I wouldn’t be whole or forgiven.  It hasn’t been an easy journey but I can’t escape the depth of gratitude as I reflect on the cross.  Sometimes, during my weakest moments, I am still amazed how far it will reach me, change me, and uplift me.

As an abused child who constantly feared rejection, I wouldn’t allow anyone to be close.  If I allowed someone to be close, it would allow the opportunity to hurt again.  Hurt again!  No, thanks!  I would rather walk alone instead of giving love a chance, although I desperately wanted it.  Love was only possible for the beautiful, smart, or kind people.  Sadly, abuse will always paint a picture of disfiguration of image, love, and truth.  It’s one of Satan’s greatest weapons to destroy who we are or who we can become.  Love was impossible to receive, until one night alone shaking from fear in my bedroom.  Deep within my soul, I wondered, “Does anyone really care about me?”  “What’s wrong with me, why can’t anyone just love me?”  Honestly, I wanted to hear it, “I was loved.”  As I shook in my room, God spoke to me, “I LOVE YOU.”  What was so amazing, God didn’t speak in a still small voice, He spoke to me personally.  At the moment, I didn’t know who spoke it, so I was just still.  Who was that?  During this time, my father was passed out drunk on his bed sleeping.  So, I knew it wasn’t him.  Who could love me?

As I started reading the Bible I started to understand my worth, my reason for being, and the love I craved was apparent.    What’s so powerful, love breaks all the barriers if we allow it in.  Yet, I understand the pain for those who “fear” the thought of it.  Fear will always bring chains of punishment, love brings power of deliverance.  Deliverance is needed from the bondage of Satan’s slavery of sin, his lies, and fear.  What’s so amazing, God said, “Enough!”  Although my people run from me, insult me, curse my name, “I LOVE THEM!” So, my Son would will be anointed to bring healing the broken hearted and bind up their wounds.  (Psalm 147:3)  As Jesus ministered, He healed all those who were oppressed by the enemy.  (Acts 10:38)

Recently, I was on a thread on Facebook with several classmates or alumni’s from college, we were discussing about marriage/divorce.  Sadly, some of these precious people have experienced the pain of divorce within ministry, some even shunned from the church.  As I read the conversation, my heart broke for those feeling neglected, especially during painful times.  So, I posted a comment, “Do you remember the woman at the well, she was divorced five times but Jesus went to her.  Also, He used her to bring salvation to her city.”  As the conversation continued, I was brought to tears as a woman said she hated to enter a new church, she had to explain her story again.  So, I posted there is no longer a need to share it, it’s forgiven.  Later, another college student attacked me, “Are you divorced?  How do you know our feelings?  “How dare I tell her not to share, that’s not encouraging?”  So, I remarked back, politely, you have misunderstood my comment.  “Why does she need to share it?”  If she is washed in the blood, she is forgiven.”  She can walk in confidence; God is with her regardless of her past or mistakes.  God has a bright future, her life isn’t over.” “Whatever her past, God will still use her.”

The woman who attacked me, turned her back on the church and God, what a heartbreak.  As one of my professors use to say, “Hurting people will hurt others.”  Obviously, this woman was still in pain from an abusive marriage.  She wanted to attack me because she hurt.  So, we spoke privately but she still wanted to attack me.  God loves you, He never stopped loving you.  He longs to be near you, so I will remind you.  Have I ever experienced the pain of divorce?  No, I haven’t but I have experience a love of God that’s changed my life.  As a child, I witnessed two of my father’s wife’s be physically abused, also a sibling.  So, I have experienced deep pain but I have experienced a great love.  So, I will reach out to the hurting, regardless of what it costs.  So, I wished her well.

Right after this conversation, I felt I must stay on my pages for ministry to be “safe.”  Sometimes, we don’t want to witness because of the backlash of the hurting but we must.  LOVE IS CALLING OUT, ENOUGH!  Maybe it’s time for the church to quit wanting to be “safe” and reach those who are oppressed of the enemy.  If Jesus was willing, so should we.  My heart is still broken for this young woman, she is being prayed for whether she realizes it or not.  Somehow, I believe God will anoint my words to catch her attention or heal her heart.  So, keep in mind whether we know Christ or not, we all hurt.  We need to be lead to the cross, it’s only through the death of Christ, we receive life.

On this earth, we will have hardships, trials, and tests.  However, I am whole, re-born, and my face is uplifted because I belong.  I AM LOVED!  As I allowed Christ to heal the past, my future is so bright.  There is nothing hindering me, God is with me.  So, I close with a thought: We all have sinned or sinned against someone. We all have hurt, we experience. It’s difficult. It's heartbreaking to all involved. If Christ who had no sin was able to minister to anyone through compassion, my heart is the same. I want to encourage others to see their worth, ability to overcome the scars, and see life's potential-God has a brighter future.

© 2011 Giving Thanks Daily, Tina Wetor

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I love people. My life has been spent seeking new friendships and helping others. God's gifting is being worked out into His plan for me. I am excited to share insights of His leadings and lessons.