Friday, March 2, 2012

Day 838 of Giving Thanks

The Vividness of a Dream
The Father’s forgiveness is beyond measure, beyond compare and the human mind cannot comprehend. It is a miracle that defines miracle for me. Forgiving the unforgivable and letting go through the strength of the Holy Spirit working within me and is available to everyone.

Last night I experienced the most intense pain I have had in many years. Most of the time I am at a level throbbing or occasional stabbing pain that usually subsides quickly and does not linger.

My husband and I have been trying to adapt to earlier sleeping patterns. We are both night owls, yet know we require more sleep – so being a good husband, Chris has been subtracting bits of time from our usual retire time and I follow.

Rest. Thank You LORD for helping me shut my eyes and quiet my mind as I stirred through the fire that shot through my muscles last night. Thank You for keeping my eyes on You and with that vantage point, the pain was released.

Rest. Thank You LORD, for the comfort of the Holy Spirit, the openness to show me how and the release through prayer, and only in the mighty name of Jesus can all this be possible. Amen.

Minutes of prayer turned into hours of praise and petition, and finally, rest came.

My life has become all about Him and relaying the story that surrounds living in this fallen world. And during my “rest” last night, I dreamt. I dreamt in vivid detail and woke up remembering all of it.

I entered sleep after praying for everyone I could think of and finally, asking the LORD for rest.

The Dream…
As I entered the street, I could sense my surroundings but they were very much in the background, the cars driving behind me, the city noises and the smell of the street; not unpleasant and nothing that I could place distinctly, but very present.

There he was sitting on a curb, next to a building, the building was grey and tall, and I believe it had windows, but all I could see was the reflection of the street and people behind me. As I crouched down to touch his hand, I was enveloped with sorrow, deep and sincere need. I did not know the man. I knew he was from the streets, although I have very little interaction with the homeless, I just knew that was his story. My mind relayed quickly that this was not my passion, ‘reaching out to the homeless’, but a compassion I had never experienced before encased me and I had the overwhelming presence of the Holy Spirit from every vantage point and from the depths of me.

I reached out and placed my hand on his arm and immediately I was in his thoughts and memories. Even though they were very daunting and horrible and familiar, I was at peace. I thought I had been placed in a movie, I jumped from the present of crouching next to him, to a moment in his past in one breath. I am not sure if I knew I was dreaming or not, but I was definitely in a moment that belonged to him.

I was whisked off to a room, could have been a hospital room or an institution, and I was viewing the scene in third-person. As I stood in the corner looking on, the man approached a woman, who I knew was his sister. He was pouring words filled with grief, regret and horror at the memory of what he had done. His face was pained and he was weeping continually.

He had sexually abused his sister and had come to her to beg for forgiveness.

What happened next was unthinkable and unimaginable. The woman pleaded with him to touch her as he once did; to hold her. The language and body language from this woman was as if the enemy had scripted it himself and was a bit more graphic and was heart-wrenching than I can ever convey in words.

The abused, had become the obsessed, the depraved and illness had taken over.

She explained there was no need for forgiveness, she loved him and didn’t want him to change. She had been abused for so long, she craved the attention, the familiar touch was all she knew.

His sobs became uncontrollable and the scene ended and I was back at the curb. Now tears filled my eyes, for I could see true repentance.

The man in my dream did not get the forgiveness he sought, which left him empty and sorrowful, that is not how our Redeemer works. We go to Him and present our sins to Him and ask for the strength to turn from that sin, and the strength to pursue that wholeness that only Jesus can provide, and it is finished, we are forgiven. The forgiveness was given the day on Calvary in the moment that Jesus said, “it is finished”.

“When He had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, He bowed his head and gave up His spirit.” ~John 19:30

Whatever your sin, we have a savior who can forgive it all. And a Savior who can heal all. Let us not define ourselves from our past, but from a God who loves us.



© 2012 Giving Thanks Daily, Shawn Boreta
Web: http://shawnsgivingthanksdaily.blogspot.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=10150418958162809

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We are Wonderfully Made (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Wonderfully-Made/130178720330362), living to encourage and Equip His People (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Equip-His-People-Ephesians-411-13/170487976325407) and completely committed to believing greatly Psalm 139 with purpose (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Psalm-139-with-purpose/183264461708034).

Shawn Delia Boreta

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I love people. My life has been spent seeking new friendships and helping others. God's gifting is being worked out into His plan for me. I am excited to share insights of His leadings and lessons.