My life as I knew it is gone forever. And, in this I am able to fully rejoice. Change for me was ever-present (changed jobs, homes, friends and health). But the changes I made were typically for change alone. I was so dissatisfied with my life, where I was that I kept looking for things to make me feel better, covering my life with a Band-Aid.
When I first accepted Christ, I didn’t really understand what that meant. And, I feel many people are right where I was. I expected to have God’s hand, reach down and shake out of me all the stuff I no longer wanted or needed – others expected that as well (instant change, poof – you are now a Christian). And, I truly am getting what I expected, but it is God’s timing, and it is perfect, just in case you are wondering. On October 30th, 2002 I realized that where I was headed, was more disastrous than I had already experienced.
With a heart filled with hope, I came before the throne of the Lord and asked for forgiveness, acknowledged that sin is a part of me and I am unworthy in my current state to be in His presence. I accepted Christ’s gift of blood, which would cover me completely so I could bow before the thrown, pure and clean. Today, I am grateful that this journey of really getting to know who I bowed to on that day is. Knowing, today, that without His allowing storms in my life, disappointment and hardship, He would not be who He is to me today without all that.
Lord, thank you for growing my faith. For making me understand, that faith is not a Band-Aid, that what I had before You was the Band-Aid. Thank you that Your covering is all I need.