It’s quite simple, I am afraid of starting over. Even though the first, or even the tenth, time around did not produce the desired outcome, and know I must be diligent and faithful in my quest, I am still afraid. I have feared so much in this life time – and I have also persevered so much in this life time.
“I sought the LORD, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears." ~Psalm 34:4
Yesterday I heard myself say “I just can’t see myself starting over again…” and, as quick as that thought appeared, a replacement thought took over, “I will not be afraid, especially since I know who provides my strength and courage.” Then what is it that I will do, if I don’t persist? Will I give up, and go through my life reminding myself of a purpose not fulfilled?”
“Vitality shows not only in the ability to persist, but in the ability to start over.” ~F. Scott Fitzgerald.
I will persevere. I will begin again!
“Who stood up for me against the wicked? Who took my side against evil workers? If God hadn't been there for me, I never would have made it. The minute I said, "I'm slipping, I'm falling," your love, God, took hold and held me fast. When I was upset and beside myself, you calmed me down and cheered me up." ~ Psalm 94:16-19
“…But whoever trusts me will possess the land and inherit my holy mountain.” ~Isaiah 57:13
And, why am I afraid? I am afraid because it is “I” who is in my own way – it is “I” who stands between the promises of my faithful Father and the failures of the flesh. Lord, remove the fear and anxiety – remove the memories of a past gone wrong – remove the physical hindrances within my mind.
"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.” ~Matthew 6:30-33 (The Message)
How many times have I said, "God, You do this, and I'll do...?” When I do this, it shows that I do not understand grace at all. When I trust that God’s got me, then I understand His grace.
“Comfort for the Contrite - And it will be said: “Build up, build up, prepare the road! Remove the obstacles out of the way of my people.” ~Isaiah 57:14
Knowing that He goes before me, that the battle is already won is enough. Certainty from a fleshly standpoint is greatly flawed. In my own mind, certainty is really not certain - certainty from a mighty God is perfectly certain.
And in response to God’s wonderful love for me, I need to do nothing, but I desire to give all of me – and I desire that through my gifts someone hears Your words through me – and even one is worth it.
Again, I place all my concerns at Your throne Lord and know that You are faith-full - mercy-full - grace-full. Thank You Abba for your favor and tenderness.
© 2011 Giving Thanks Daily, Shawn Boreta