After three days of not feeling “up to par”, I was a bit warn down today, and not a day I wanted to hear about mistakes I have made, or “my” inefficiencies, yet, that is where God had me today. And, as the words came at me, I prayed, “Lord, not today”, and inside I cried out for mercy and to receive His tenderness. Inside I was being torn and my heart hurt, “Do I really deserve….” And my thoughts faded off, so that I could focus on what was being said, rather than how I felt. I wanted to lash out, to cry and submit to not acting wisely, but instead, I received boldness – the words that needed to be said were delivered lovingly in God’s confidence, yet they were powerful – His words through my mouth were words that eased the moment.
There were a couple of moments that I thought for sure I would just break down and throw my hands up, because that is how I felt. Yet, He kept me grounded today, and for that I am thankful. I am grateful for His presence in my life and throughout my moments.
Twice, this passage came to me today, so I will wrap my heart around it. “Let us give thanks to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the merciful Father, the God from whom all help comes! He helps us in all our troubles, so that we are able to help others who have all kinds of troubles, using the same help that we ourselves have received from God. Just as we have a share in Christ's many sufferings, so also through Christ we share in God's great help.6 If we suffer, it is for your help and salvation; if we are helped, then you too are helped and given the strength to endure with patience the same sufferings that we also endure. So our hope in you is never shaken; we know that just as you share in our sufferings, you also share in the help we receive.” ~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 (GNT)
But as I sit here tonight, the tears can no longer be contained. I want and desire movement, a change and progress… I am humbled, and know so well that I am working against the grain of my being; completely outside of my strengths, outside of my talents. Yet, I am still here – and daily I ask, “What is the purpose for me here?” And, everyday I pray for change in me –I can stand firmly no matter what.
“Don’t allow Satan to take anything away from who you are,“ were the words a friend said tonight. It has been a completely full and very busy day. I have been humbled working where I do like never before in my life. And, I know that is what happens when we work outside of our strengths.
Today contained no breakthroughs, just moments of assurance that I stood not alone, and I am justified, as I have been since the day I accepted the amazing gift from Jesus. It is rare that I give advice in broad terms, but today I am compelled to do so.
My friends, we are to encourage, especially through mistakes. If your child, your friend, co-worker or subordinate makes a mistake, don't break them with condemnation. Just let them know that it's OK. You do not need to harp on how horrible the mistake is, they are probably already doing a pretty good job all on their own. Sometimes just saying, "I know you will do better next time", will bring them completely back up. Although, I did not receive that encouragement today, I was reminded at how valuable words of encouragement are. How that it is not our job to humble others, but to encourage them, and allow God’s process to do everything else – and if that is humbling, He is the best One for the job.
“Therefore encourage (admonish, exhort) one another and edify (strengthen and build up) one another, just as you are doing.” ~1 Thessalonians 5:11 (Amplified Bible)
As I continue to stand firmly in my place before God, I get closer to realizing what He has for me. In every experience I go through, every humbling circumstance, for every word that I am handed, I have a choice to accept them or accept Him. I choose the latter. For every moment I live out here on earth, before I reach my heavenly destination, I have a choice of how to receive information and respond. I choose to respond greatly and stand firmly because it is He who I depend on, and look toward for strength, courage and wisdom and there is no better way to handle this world than that.
“And I have been made a servant of the church by God, who gave me this task to perform for your good. It is the task of fully proclaiming his message, which is the secret he hid through all past ages from all human beings but has now revealed to his people. God's plan is to make known his secret to his people, this rich and glorious secret which he has for all peoples. And the secret is that Christ is in you, which means that you will share in the glory of God. So we preach Christ to everyone. With all possible wisdom we warn and teach them in order to bring each one into God's presence as a mature individual in union with Christ. To get this done I toil and struggle, using the mighty strength which Christ supplies and which is at work in me.” Colossians 1:25-29 (Good News Translation)