By Peggy McGlothlin
I spent so many years of my life sitting in different churches, hoping against hope that I would find You in one of them. When that didn`t work, I gave up and walked away. Why didn`t I find You there, Lord? Why did I only find rejection and condemnation there? I spent years being afraid of not being good enough to please You. Why did You cause all of that in me, Lord? Was I that hard to teach? That`s what I always thought, You know. Of course You do. You gave me those thoughts.
I wanted to love You so badly, and to be sure in my heart that You love me. I heard that so many times in my life. At the same time, I heard about this angry, vengeful God who was going to allow most of His creation burn in eternal torment because we would never measure up. I could never understand how You could allow that if You really loved us.
I really messed up for a very long time, You know. I came to the place where I believed that You could not possibly love someone like me. I became very bitter and angry.
One day, I decided that I would live my life as if I believed everything I had been taught about You. I confessed You as Lord of my life. You & I both know I didn`t really believe it. But we had our moments, You & I. Those brief glimpses of You were enough to keep me hopeful. You were there all the days of my life, Lord. I know that now. Every word, every action, came directly from You.
I remember the day, just a few short months ago that You revealed Yourself to me as the God who loves me, who desires me and who does everything for my good. I finally knew the God who is in control of all things, including me.
Knowing You now, Lord, fills my heart and soul with so much joy, so much peace and contentment. You are the reason I wake up in the morning, the reason I do what I do. You have taught me love and acceptance and You have caused me to know that You do, indeed, control all things.
I could go on for hours about all the things that I`ve learned about You ~~ all the things You have taught me in the last few months. I will do that when You are ready for me to.
All I want to do for now is to say thank You. Thank You for being the God Of love that I always knew You are in the deepest part of me. Thank You for loving me with such an amazing love. Thank You for all that You have given me to show me Your love. Thank You for seeing me as You created me ~~ Perfect in every way. Lord, thank You for giving me the gift of loving You without fear and without guilt. Thank You for the gift of knowing that You found me worthy of Your love. You have given me all things good, Lord. And for that, I truly thank You.
My Bio? I’m 68 years old, a widow, Mom to 6 kids, Grandma to 8, and Great Grandma to 8. I’m from Massachusetts, and have spent most of my adult life in West Texas and I currently live in Georgia. I love God, love being involved sharing that love for God on Facebook, as well as personalized, one-on-one ministry.
© 2011 Giving Thanks Daily, all rights remain with the author