When I started to write this today, I really struggled. How can I write about giving thanks when my soul and heart feel like they have been crushed? But that’s exactly why I need to give thanks. Because even though I am feeling these things, God has shown me that I don’t have to “BE” these emotions. He has shown me that I can take these feelings, give them to Him and He will show me not only how to work through them, but will reveal the truth of the matter to me.
In a nutshell, I received a phone call from one of my closest friends last night. We haven’t really talked much because her schedule and mine just haven’t been clicking. She was worried that she had upset or offended me and she wanted the “old me” back. The “old me” that hadn’t found her path in God yet. The “Old ME” who was still searching for God’s plan for my life. Recently, God has revealed His plan for me and a few of our conversations have been about my excitement and my nervousness for embarking on this plan. Essentially, the conversation ended with my apologizing, asking her forgiveness and her telling me she doesn’t want to talk with me about this path I am on. We can talk about anything else but she is tired of hearing about it.
When I hung up, I felt broken, heated and deflated. I felt full of doubt and all the other emotions that come from a phone call like that. This was one of my closest friends, my accountability partner, a woman with a Godly heart. As I am growing forward, she’s still where she is… and she wants the “old me” back.
I realized as I slept and talked to God, that because of the opinion of one person who wants to keep me back where I was, I had caused myself to disregard all the other opinions and confirmations I had been getting from all sorts of people and things, that I am on the right path to move forward.
Then it hit me. The enemy doesn’t want me to move forward, he wants to keep me stagnant and stuck. But God is greater than the enemy. I am an heir to God’s covenant promise mentioned in Genesis. God’s promises are for me. I need to stand up to the enemy and just get in his face and tell him to just SHUT UP!!
I am not going to waste my life trying to figure out what I am going to do every time someone says something to me about my choice of path. God is in control of my life. The enemy uses other people to get to me and cause those doubts and self conscious thoughts. But God’s word instructs me to:
“11 But you, Timothy, are a man of God; so run from all these evil things. Pursue righteousness and a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness. 12 Fight the good fight for the true faith. Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you, which you have confessed so well before many witnesses. 13 And I charge you before God, who gives life to all, and before Christ Jesus, who gave a good testimony before Pontius Pilate, 14 that you obey this command without wavering. Then no one can find fault with you from now until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again. 15 For at just the right time Christ will be revealed from heaven by the blessed and only almighty God, the King of all kings and Lord of all lords. 16 He alone can never die, and he lives in light so brilliant that no human can approach him. No human eye has ever seen him, nor ever will. All honor and power to him forever! Amen.” ~1 Timothy 6:11–16 (New Living Translation)
FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT FOR THE TRUE FAITH! The enemy will use scripture and Christian people to keep us from achieving God’s plan. The enemy is cunning and crafty.
“For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” ~Ephesians 6:12
This is a battle, God warns us of this. However, I can’t battle an enemy if I give in to thoughts of self doubt. That’s not a spirit of God. God gives us thoughts that encourage, motivate, confirm and also convict. However, conviction is not the same of condemnation. The thoughts I was feeding were condemning and meant to keep me from moving forward and were causing me to want to just give up all together. God is bigger than these thoughts. He showed me that I do have a purpose and as I peruse that purpose, people will try and hold me back. I must stay in His word. I HAVE to purposely search Him Out.
Lord, thank you for your faithfulness. Lord, thank you for helping me figure this out. Thank you for sending your Son to die for my sins. Thank you for your grace and your mercy and thank you for your guidance. Thank you for your strength. You are the great “I AM”. You are powerful and you are amazing. You are here, right now, and you are taking care of my situation. Lord, please take this worry and self doubt from me. I lift these emotions into your hands. Help me to stay on your path you have set for me and help me to Boldly step out and battle for you! Amen.
© 2011 Giving Thanks Daily, Darci Escandon