Saturday, January 21, 2012

Day 801 of Giving Thanks by Darci Escandon

Denial. So many people deny so many things. Ignoring a situation does not make it go away, it just makes it harder to deal with when the time comes. It’s been a looong and hard week for my family. My mother in law has “looked” pregnant for the 15 years I have known here. During that time, Her health has started to fail. She complains that things hurt but yet, will not go see a doctor. She thinks they are all idiots. That all changed last Saturday when she had to go into the hospital for shortness of breath. After many tests, they determined that she had a 27.5 centimeter mass growing from her abdomen area.

Before I continue, let me give you a brief backstory. When I met my husband 15 years ago, his mother hated me. I know hate is a strong word, but it’s the best word to describe her feelings towards me. Thankfully, God has given me the gift of thick skin. I don’t take offense to the things she says and I have learned how to handle her. God is amazing. Sometimes, I don’t understand why He puts certain people in my life, especially those that can be so hurtful with their words. She is a difficult woman to love, very mean and stubborn. But, she is still a child of God. So many times, I have wanted to yell back, to poke back, to return the hurtful words, and I have done that, on occasion. But, God’s word says:
“Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it."~Romans 12:17-19 (The Message Bible)

It hasn’t been an easy 15 years, that’s for sure. But she is the mother of my husband and God has been able to allow me to see her as HE sees her, one of His children, created in His image. And now, ironically, the one that has been her memory, her care giver, her strength, the person that has been at the hospital every day since being admitted, talking to the doctors, updating the family, holding her hand, has been the person she dislikes the most. God leads, I follow.  After her surgery, we were told that the surgeon had to remove a 100 pound mass from her abdomen. 100 pounds. That’s a small human being. It wasn’t cancerous and my mother in law is a walking miracle. No one can comprehend how she could be in denial for so long with something like that growing inside of her.

She will never appreciate me, and that’s ok. I don’t do this to be appreciated. I act because God leads. When I learned how to do that, to do things not because of what I will get back, but because of what God says in my life, I have a peace and comfort in me that I can’t explain. It’s like God takes the hurt from the words and turns them away. They never get to me. My armor is up and God’s word is my shield.

Life can be hard. People can hurt us easily. Offense is being given constantly but we don’t have to choose to take it. What I have learned this week is that when God is our strength, when we allow Him to lead, the enemy can do his best, but he can’t bring us down. God is bigger and always will be. Denial causes us to miss so many things. Like her 100 pound mass, many of us are walking around in sin not realizing just how dangerous it is. Many of us refuse to come to terms with what is happening in our lives because it’s easier to just look the other way. But sin, like my mother in law’s health, will always come out into the open one way or another. It will also cause us to treat people differently and to look at God differently.

Lord, thank you for your grace and mercy and for providing me your patience. Lord, you get the glory in this. It is because of you I can help someone who dislikes me so much. Lord, you are my strength and my rock and it is because of you, that my mother in law is healing and is alive. Lord, you are amazing and I love you. Thank you for being faithful and constant in my life. Thank you for turning my mistakes into miracles and for always walking with me. ~Amen.

© 2012 Giving Thanks Daily, Darci Escandon

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I love people. My life has been spent seeking new friendships and helping others. God's gifting is being worked out into His plan for me. I am excited to share insights of His leadings and lessons.