My day started out today, and I found myself really wanting to “fix” someone… and heard, “Stop, let Me work here.” So I answered, “Yes Lord yes. Whatever You say. Help me in my unbelief that You know best.” I continued with prayer. “Father, I pray for boldness of Your children, my brothers and sisters. I pray they stand firm for You, and they too will know Your presence deeply, and come to You for all their concerns and through all Your victories in their lives.”
Taking on the weight of the world is not a virtue, I have learned. It is a never-ending battle between sanity and clarity. Over the years I have “taken on” way too much, and what ensued was havoc, heartache and ill feelings, mostly on my part. By no means have I figured out how to do things completely “right”, but I am surely getting better.
As a woman, I, not only want everyone happy around me, I want them fixed (restored and whole) – I believe I have tried to make everything work perfectly around me and especially being a perfect “Shawn” for most of my own life, which is a great way to drive myself crazy.
I have made the most painful mistakes with many in my life, especially those I love. I am grateful that I have been able to forgive myself, as I grow in my relationship with God. What an amazing process this is. Fortunately, it’s not the pain I reflect upon - it is the growth that has occurred and the blessings of truth that I realize. What I know now is the best way to help others is through loving them and accepting them for who and where they are – still embedding this into my own fabric.
When I try to “better” those around me, really, what I am doing is dismissing what God created. So, how did I become that hypercritical, busy body who wants to butt in and make changes with those I meet and know? It’s easy, I have spent much of my life on the receiving end of this also; I have known so many people who have “tried” to change me. And, how do I recover from this disorder or being a fix-it gal? It’s easy, I let go of what I know, and become what He is. I allow God to step in and take control. I allow God to do His work in me through the Holy Spirit. I allow God to work on others, in His chosen manner and timing. And, I continue to work on me, and do what I can do toward that, and count on God for His part.
What now? That’s really easy and hard at the same time. I continue to allow God to do what He does in me, and pray for others to know Him as well.