On days where my heart is completely broken over a loss and what is no longer, I reach deeply to find the comfort; I reach out to my Father, and plead for the ache and pain to go away. I have written in the past about allowing the grief process to occur, yet that is something that I would love to skip today.
All it took was a glimpse, a look at something that I was, once, head over heels in love with - my idol, possibly - my passion, deeply - my life's ambition, completely. But these are all things, the possibly, the deeply, the completely were results of selfishness and disobedience. And, I am not saying that that dream was not good and awesome and godly, I am saying that although I embarked well, I sailed poorly through the waters of that particular journey - and today I truly believe that when we put our dreams ahead of God, the outcome is greatly altered as a result. So today, I embark anew and I trust that He will lead me to a desire and passion – to a new dream.
I expect God to do great things in me. I expect a great life. I expect to change.
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.” ~Ephesians 6:10
… with God in the lead, I cannot fail.
“His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.” ~2 Peter 1:3-4
So for a brief moment today, I grieve and I cry for what is no longer and for the parts of my life I miss so greatly. But I also revel in the fact that in every loss, there are gains – for with this loss has come a greater gains – and that is wisdom and clarity of who I am, why I am important and that I am powerful beyond measure – because of who I am. I wipe away the tears, that I know He so wonderfully collects, and I step in to His presence, and I put on my armor and press in. “You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book? ~Psalms 56:8.
“Tenacity is more than hanging on, which may be but the weakness of being too afraid to fall off. Tenacity is the supreme effort of a man refusing to believe that his hero is going to be conquered....Remain spiritually tenacious.” ~Oswald Chambers
Suffering excruciating pain; spiritually, when His grace was not known to me; physically, when I knew no purpose in my life; and emotionally, when hope was for others. The pain of change is priceless and the pain of regret is devastating. God knows this path I choose, and all the decisions I made in my past – “May God himself, the God who makes everything holy and whole, make you holy and whole, put you together—spirit, soul, and body—and keep you fit for the coming of our Master, Jesus Christ. The One who called you is completely dependable. If he said it, he'll do it!” ~1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 – He is greatly aware of the healing needed and the timing that is perfect according to His plans for me. I expect God in all aspects of my life.
“But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the LORD, ‘because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no one cares.’” ~Jeremiah 30:17
And, there is hope in my surrender and in His tenderness of these lessons. Today, I will end with one of my favorite sayings, “I can’t wait to see what God has next.”