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Monday, May 9, 2011

Day 540 of Giving Thanks

As I read through the first part of Genesis, I stopped and contemplated all the possibility of this beginning. I have been in some pretty deep and, frankly very much "out of my comfort zone" conversations with some people who believe very differently than I do, in fact other end of the spectrum "belief". And, as I continue to read, and with the love in my heart for my God, the one I whole heartedly believe is the creator of the heavens and the earth and all things, my heart breaks for a heart that is so hard that any form of light is shaded and shut off.

Before I became a Christian, I was full of light, an open heart to things spiritual - but you mention God and I became defensive dark and antagonistic. My life did not reflect a "God in it", according to me at the time. With failures and abuse, and wrong thinking, and wrong seeking I was very dependent on what “I could do”.

I scoffed, laughed and mocked all my friends and family who were "Christians", if not to their faces, behind their backs, to what, make myself feel better about where I was? You know, those were times that I felt the worst about myself.

My personal claim is that if I am right, then God is pleased. If I am not (which believe me, I have no doubt at all), then all I have done is live a life of edifying others and living in a hope of so much more than a life of void and skepticism. And, truly that is what the "gotcha" was for me. "What if... what the bible says is true?" was my first question - opening the door, allowing God to infiltrate into that little gap. Then the wall would appear, and the light would shut down. My "mind" "reason of the unproven, most of the time" took over.

I am grateful that I am who I am, and have become who I am today. It is a “me”, I would have never dreamed to exist, yet, here I am full of light, and a heart filled with God.

I love everyone. When I was younger and served in a restaurant, my daily goal was to get a smile from every table. And, in my mind, I never failed - does that mean everyone smiled? Actually, I believe they did. I would imagine them leaving and getting into their car and chuckling at the "nice girl" who waited on them. The other side, is the cynical one "everyone is mean, unfriendly a major pain" - and although these views are probably true, doesn't it just feel better to have the first outlook?

Really, not much has changed, I still like to make people smile – there is one change however, I also want people to know the truth and to see hearts transform.

My gifting is compassionate care and relationships, loving people comes naturally. Edification no matter where they come from. But I do expect respect, as I will give it as well.

I can be completely battered and bruised, and just like a fighter, after binding the brokenness, salving the wounds, icing the injuries, I can go right back at it. And the more I know I am not alone, the more I know that my life is purposed, that I am a mighty woman of God, the more I can take on in the ring. The more rounds I can take and the stronger and tougher I become.

So, back to my reading in Genesis. What else besides a compassionate, loving caring God would create us? How would we all be so individual and unique? A big bang did occur and it was when God said "Let there be light," and there was light."

        “So God created man in his own image, 
       in the image of God he created him; 
       male and female he created them.” ~Genesis 1:27

Or the world was made into existence with a boom, and random acts of atoms and molecules came together and created everything you see today….

Father, we live in a world of so much confusion – we know that there is one truth, a truth that has been over and over revealed. Lord we pray for the hearts that are hardened, that if there is movement to be made in softening their stance, their views that You move them. Almighty God, in Your presence I ask to be, confident in Your word, words relayed and lessons to absorb. Lord, I ask that I be strengthened in conviction through the Holy Spirit, that my understanding is SOLID, clear and perfect. Thank You Lord, for my life, my journey, my convictions and You in it.

In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.



2 comments:

  1. Shawn, I am amazed daily, sometimes hourly, at how much God is changing me. Some of the thoughts you share here...about who we are today...really hits home with me. Thanks for sharing your heart!

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  2. Thank you Darlene, means a lot coming from you...

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Shawn Delia Boreta

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