Lately, I have allowed myself to be anxious, insecure and angry to the point of tears and it had nothing to do with going away. Frustration is a terrible thing, and greatly unnecessary. My frustration comes because I want to respond better, more intelligently – but I respond, internally anyway, with a child-like, temper tantrum, heartbroken mess. What is up with that?
Today I allowed that rising once again. I truly felt as though I would explode – yes, I prayed, but it was short bursts, or outbursts of internal emotion. And that is how my day went, inside my head and a couple of outward moments. In combination with some of the extra physical stuff that has been going on, I was sure that implosion had happened.
As I was driving to get my pre-trip errands done, I had time to slow down my thoughts; dig all the emotions up from the last several months and lay them before the throne of my heavenly Father.
As I am in the middle of a situation – I am reminded that one of my biggest lessons this year has been to love my enemies and love the unlovable AND the biggest is “love one another”. I know this today, I am to write these words deep in my soul; they should be the first thing I think of if I feel overwhelmed with what others do.
All of my life, I have been able to work with others and work things out. And, for some time now I have allowed the enemy to work me into emotional chaos and as he does, my insecurities arise. I have allowed myself to be angry within these circumstances – often times allowing the emotion of a moment to take hold… This is not what God wants for me. He wants me remain in Him at all times. And, if in Him, these emotions cannot take hold, not even for a moment. it is not love my enemy or love one another, it is “all things are possible with God”. And, what is possible is my changed heart – and I am truly of the belief that many times in our lives the people that create the most chaos in our hearts or in our lives should be removed or reduced in our life. And, until that time, I will “Bless those who persecute me”.
Father God, I know that my prayers have been many and often lately and I am so grateful that I can come to You for everything. Tonight my thoughts and heart are a mess of emotions. There is the deep and beautiful thankfulness I have for the time I will spend with Chris on our ‘get away’. I come to You Lord and lay all the ill feelings I have in my current circumstance. Grant me peace as and resolve as I wait for Your instruction for ‘what to do next’. I know you know I am ready in my heart, I ask You make me ready in all other areas. Lord, thank You for the good days I have had, and help me to get through the days that challenging. Remind me, with whatever means necessary, to come to You for help and strength and thank You for answering my calls. Thank You gracious and merciful Father for showing me how to love in the midst of what is not so pleasant, and know that my love for You grows stronger with every day. All these things Lord, I pray in the mighty blood of Jesus. Amen.
Romans 12:7-21 (GOD’S WORD Translation)
7If your gift is serving, then devote yourself to serving. If it is teaching, devote yourself to teaching. 8If it is encouraging others, devote yourself to giving encouragement. If it is sharing, be generous. If it is leadership, lead enthusiastically. If it is helping people in need, help them cheerfully.
9Love sincerely. Hate evil. Hold on to what is good. 10Be devoted to each other like a loving family. Excel in showing respect for each other. 11Don’t be lazy in showing your devotion. Use your energy to serve the Lord. 12Be happy in your confidence, be patient in trouble, and pray continually. 13Share what you have with God’s people who are in need. Be hospitable.
14Bless those who persecute you. Bless them, and don’t curse them. 15Be happy with those who are happy. Be sad with those who are sad. 16Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be arrogant, but be friendly to humble people. Don’t think that you are smarter than you really are.
17Don’t pay people back with evil for the evil they do to you. Focus your thoughts on those things that are considered noble. 18As much as it is possible, live in peace with everyone. 19Don’t take revenge, dear friends. Instead, let God’s anger take care of it. After all, Scripture says, “I alone have the right to take revenge. I will pay back, says the Lord.” 20But,
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him.
If he is thirsty, give him a drink.
If you do this, you will make him feel guilty and ashamed.”
21Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil with good.
© 2011 Giving Thanks Daily, Shawn Boreta
We are Wonderfully Made (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Wonderfully-Made/130178720330362), living to encourage and Equip His People (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Equip-His-People-Ephesians-411-13/170487976325407) and completely committed to believing greatly Psalm 139 with purpose (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Psalm-139-with-purpose/183264461708034).