As I was being prosecuted, taunted and belittled. I had a great sense of calm in my position, even though I stood immobile and unable to move and unable to speak – slanderous statements, charges and insane words came at me. None really that I could make out or understand why they were being said (yes it was a dream).
All throughout the dream I could hear and sense God’s tenderness. “Don’t listen to them,” was repeated in a soft subliminal voice, “I am with you”. Awake, this would have been a complete mess of feelings and words meshed into my surroundings, and in my dream I knew it was all “so strange”.
“Let this be done,” was the cry in my heart. I could “feel” the pain of the words and the sting of the moment in my dream. I wanted to cry, but could not and I knew that each tear on the inside was important to God.
When I got my voice in the dream, I “let them have it”. Although, honestly not sure what it was all about, what I said, or how they reacted. I did have a knowledge that I was concise, clear and direct. Then I was in my car and driving away.
I woke up after my dream, and laid there pondering, “What just happened?” I remember recognizing the “players” in my dream – people that have deeply hurt me at some point of my life. And, without any hesitation, I knew that life would begin again; that all that hurt was handled, that the loss I have been grieving, is not a loss I will reflect on with a grieving heart any longer, but a joyful heart, ready to receive my future with open arms. And, I was driving again…
I hadn’t been awake after all. Wow – I am thankful that “life” is not like a dream. I am thankful that my life, when I look at all the pieces, I know that the power of the Holy Spirit will bring understanding and order to it all. I am thankful that even though my circumstance may “feel”, just like my dream, God is in control, and I never have to wonder why, but realize that “why” is not the wonder at all. The only why I ever need to know is why He did His work on the cross – so I can understand and my life will have order and His purpose will be fulfilled as I live out my life.
“Every word you give me is a miracle word—how could I help but obey? Break open your words, let the light shine out, let ordinary people see the meaning. Mouth open and panting, I wanted your commands more than anything. Turn my way, look kindly on me, as you always do to those who personally love you. Steady my steps with your Word of promise so nothing malign gets the better of me. Rescue me from the grip of bad men and women so I can live life your way. Smile on me, your servant; teach me the right way to live. I cry rivers of tears because nobody's living by your book!” Psalm 119:129-136 (The Message)