Today I began my first praying fast. And, I have to tell you that as I prayed this morning, I haven’t felt that much emotion in a very long time. As I brought my request to my Lord, I knew His presence. I had a really difficult time getting started. The past 4 or 5 days have not been good days physically, and my energy has been at unusual lows. It has truly been a fight. And, I confess when I do not feel well, the idea of eating right and comfortable battle wildly – in my weakness, the comfort comes into play, which leads me back to my sluggard and slothful behavior.
I woke up, again today, exhausted. When I say exhausted – I don’t mean I can muster up my energy with “good” self talk, motivating or uplifting music – it is a true battle. I took the day off and I am still trying to get moving longer than a few minutes. My verses help, and knowing that there is purpose to all this makes it manageable; and I will wait patiently for it to be revealed, either here or in eternity.
So, as I knelt to pray, with the list of people to pray for and my list of things I am praying for, I overwhelmingly broke down. It is like all the emotions of the past 40 years, the ones, I thought I had dealt with, were right there on the surface. The picture in my mind was Hannah, when she was in the temple and Eli asked if she had been drinking.
“Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk” 1 Samuel 1:13
Every emotion came rushing through me, and I had yet, more self-discovery. Father, I am grateful for being pushed, poked and leveled in moments of discovery. I claim, all the things I brought before You today. It is in my quiet times with You that so much become clear. Thank You for silence Father.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." ~Matthew 11:28-30